The Journey Inward

As a seventh-grader I used to be really short-tempered. I would get angry at the drop of a hat. One fine day, I was sitting in the lawn with my dad and grandpa, and my grandpa was talking to my dad about JD Krishnamurthy. Then he started talking to me. He said, "How do you see a tree?" Just imagine looking at a tree and look at it the way it is and don't associate any name to it. Then he went on to say, "Whenever you get angry, think about what are you angry about? Who are you? Do not associate yourself with any name, any tag. There have been billions of people living, for billions of years, what are you. I don't know why but this thought struck me, and I feel it had an impact on me!

I had worn a wet dhoti for (cold) morning sandhya vandana (chantings that I do almost regularly ever since I shaved my head). By afternoon, I caught a fever, my body was aching and I felt weak.

After finishing the evening sandhya vandana, we got to know that bhanu didi’s (guruji's sister) birthday was being celebrated close by, and that there was food there. So we went there. I met bhanu didi and wished her. My fever had risen, my body was now aching terribly and I was having difficulty standing. So, I decided I would return to my room, miss bhanu didi’ birthday satsang and just rest. Just then, there was a queue formed and we saw guruji (Sri Sri Ravi Shankar) heading to his car. So I decided to see him off. As he went past me, he looked at me, gave a caring glance and gave me a pat on my left cheek. Within 30 seconds of the pat, I realized, my pain disappeared, my fever had gone, and I was feeling fit! It was unbelievable! So, I went for bhanu didi’s birthday satsang and had a great time there. Surprisingly immediately after the satsang the fever reappeared! That’s when I understood, guruji’s gesture, with a pat on my cheek he invited me to the satsang. At the same time he didn’t want me to become a softie and not be able to bear a simple fever. The fever was completely gone by the next morning.

I had a wisdom tooth extraction today. The condition is called ‘impaction’. I don’t know how the name ‘wisdom’ came to this tooth, but this tooth which comes in a few humans, generally only causes problems. I have all four, but two of them have come out horizontally instead of vertically. So, I needed to undergo the removal of these two. Today was impaction of the first one of them.

Till before the surgery I thought it to be a normal tooth extraction. But as I sat on the chair I was told it would take at least half an hour! The bone holding the tooth needed to be cut and only then would the tooth be extracted! Wow! I thought to myself. As I switched off my mobile phone (Answering the phone was a bit difficult considering my mouth would be wide open, tongue sticking out and some carpentry going inside!) I saw guruji’s beautifully smiling face ☺. I closed my eyes, and just remembered guruji. After taking 3 injections of anesthesia the surgery started. In spite of the anesthesia, I don’t know how, but there was pain. Actually now, looking back, that pain was not much it was easily bearable, but the sound of the heavy carpentry was what increased the pain. Amidst all this while I was trying to observe my whole body and the mouth region, and then surrendering, i.e. Remembering that this is just my body, a piece of flesh and blood, and that, the divine is always there to take care of me. I noticed that whenever I had pain, my body had stiffened at various places, and whenever I took my attention there and relaxed, the pain would subside. The same thing happened again and again. I would feel pain. I wouldn’t accept it instantly. Parts of my body would stiffen. Then I would surrender the body. And then the pain only localized to the area of the mouth. Actually if I closely scanned the area in my mouth where the pain was. I noticed, that even there, pain is nothing but a strong sensation. A sensation that is different from the normal state! Had this been there all my life, I would have lived with it without even noticing it! Actually all this is quite similar to doing yoga asanas. As soon as we assume a new posture, there is stiffness in different parts, and then we take our attention to the stiff regions and relax them, and it becomes so much more comfortable. There comes the drilling machine again, and aaaooo. Again, my body stiffens. I feel pain in the mouth, this time the doctor gave me two tips, don’t worry about the sound and shut your eyes. Such useful tips! I was magnifying my pain simply by the sounds and my own eyes! In this whole operation I tried a few more techniques. One of them was valor. I remembered the advanced course (a course in the art of living in case you don’t know about it!), and then I thought to myself, bring it on, let's see what can the pain do to me. Come on! bring it on! This also was a cool technique. But I prefer becoming aware and just surrendering.

No matter how much I pacify or remind myself through the intellect. When the pain comes instantly, it's only the conditioning of the mind that matters, concepts don’t matter! I thought to myself. This is what death would be like. The instant it comes, all the things in the intellect don’t matter. It's only the reflex action of the mind. Well. I’m living now and I’ve got a lot to learn ☺ before I leave this body.

I guess, this wisdom tooth has imparted its share of wisdom while exiting ☺.

I really respected and loved my grandfather. He passed away when I was in my tenth grade. He was residing at our place in his last days. Only my mother and I were at home when he passed away. I remember comforting my mother, saying ‘He has just left his body’. A few nights after his body was cremated, I had a dream. He was sitting in our drawing room on the sofa, the way he used to sit, and talking to me. And I tell you the dream was so real, I could not believe it! I had flashes of him being taken to the cremation and that he was dead! So I asked him, ‘But Dadaji you are dead, how are you here!’. He replied ‘This is because of your love for me.’

“There is a lot of intelligence in the world today. What we need in the world today is innocence…” – Sri Sri

In today’s age, this statement holds so true! The moment a person does something that is intelligent, the first question that comes to our mind is, “What does he gain from this, or what does he/she want, what's in it from him/her…” I mean we don’t leave the minutest possibility that the person has done something good for everyone out of innocence! The synonym of intelligence has become ‘crookedness’. It's so visible in our vocabulary. When we say, “ He is very smart" implying "don’t believe him" or "He is very sharp" meaning "be careful " etc.

Then there are the "dumb" people in this world whom we often call “ innocent”. They don’t leave a possibility that someone can be crooked! They think the whole world is innocent and that every person does everything with innocence and believe everything and everyone. They are the ones who get exploited by the ‘intelligent and crooked’. When these people find out that they were being exploited, they get frustrated and tend to lose faith.

When the faith is strong, then there is no stopping. One doesn’t feel cheated, one doesn’t get frustrated and one continues to remain innocent, no matter what the whole world does or say. Even if someone does act 'crooked' with them, they see that this person has done such an act out of ignorance or some negativities overpowered that person. When these type of people use intelligence, the world becomes a better place to live in. When an action is done with Intelligence and total innocence, it is one of the most beautiful and perfect actions done in the universe.

Of late, I've been in Gurgaon, which comes in the Delhi NCR region, and is swamped with a huge number of corporates. My job involves interacting with youth (18 - 30 to be specific), so I've been meeting up with a lot of young employees at various call centres & BPOs. In fact I’m staying with one (He was my room-mate at IIT).

I really pity the way they are leading their lives. Their regular schedule is – say a 10-hour working day (which I feel would be the only worthwhile time), come back, watch TV or meet up with a friend over a coffee/meal/drink on working days. Friday and Saturday evening are for heavy drinking, and Sunday goes by, getting out of the hangover!

Such a dull, boring and monotonous life! It looks so juiceless! Even though seemingly there are all the material comforts, life seems to be so juiceless! Just waiting for weekends, where one could drink and get out of the monotonicity for a few hours. As soon as the alcohol is digested and the headache, or dullness gone, starts another week and the cycle continues!

We are so caught up in our own ‘vicious circle’ that we have really forgotten where are we really heading? What is it all for? Why are we here on this planet? What's the purpose of life? Very often these issues come out as ‘discussions’ after a drink, or maybe even without a drink sometimes, but still as ‘discussions’. This is the first step. Very fortunate are those, to whom at-least this question dawns! Everyone who is at this step (or who is nodding in agreement through this blog) wants to come out of the cycle, but very few have the determination and courage to put in actual efforts!

The solution lies in taking action about it (not just reading this blog and forgetting it!). It lies in spending time with oneself to sit and ponder over these issues and meditate. It lies in going out and serving people. It lies in having more talks, discussions, and being in company of people with similar mindset. Guruji puts it in very simple words. “Seva, Satsang & Sadhana”. Seva – serving people without expecting anything in return. Satsang – being in the company of sat(truth) meaning hanging around/chilling out/spending time with people doing such activities. Sadhana – meditating, or spending time with oneself on a regular basis. These are the three pillars of growth that help us “wake up” in life!

After a really long time I got angry a few weeks ago! This was a very special anger, since I was also observing myself during the phase of anger. I was caught going out from the railway station. Platform tickets have been stopped from being issued these days at New Delhi RS (Railway Station). So, I was supposed to be carrying a train ticket.

The TCE caught me, and told me to stand on one side. I was in a hurry, and I made gestures of just running off. The TCE got even more pissed off! He started holding me by my collar. So, I also started speaking loudly. That’s it! I had lost it! I could observe, that my energy levels (prana) had increased and I had become feverish. I was not in control of myself. In this state, my intellect would tell me to do certain things, but my ego would tell me to do something else. There was so much feverishness. I just could control what I wanted to say and what I wanted to hold back. It was as if I was drunk! No control of my self. In midst of the struggle I had made a phone call to a friend who was outside the station and told her to buy tickets and come. Now came the best part. She came up with the ticket and handed it over to me. Now, the TCE had no proof that I was ticket less! So, I Challenged the TCE. “ab tum mera kuch nahi kar sakte” (you can’t do anything to me now). That was enough to pinch the TCE’s ego! He said. “Bahut shaana ban raha hai. Tera to memo nikalta hoon” (acting very smart. I’ll get you a memo, memo is some kind of reporting to the police thingy, which meant sitting in jail for the night!). He held me and took me to the station master’s office. The thing about anger is that when one is in this state, consequences are not seen, there is so much energy and kind of valor that in that moment one is ready to face anything! So, it continued even there, but soon, probably my intellect had won, and I thought to myself that, okay I don’t want to waste more time ☺. I heard my friends telling me to keep quiet (actually they had been saying to keep quiet for quite long, but only now it registered. I thought, ok, let's give it a shot). So, I just stayed quiet despite of severe urges to just speak and shout and give gyan etc etc. Not surprisingly, as soon as I shut up. The TCE started listening to my friends and his colleagues. Now suddenly from making a Memo, to fining the 2 of us, it settled to just giving one fine. Had I shut up little earlier it probably would not have been even that ☺. Nevertheless. I totally enjoyed the sudden surge of energy. Even after the ‘fight’ the energy levels were really high in me. The only thing was that, there was feverishness along with it which made me lose control of my actions!

I was just scanning through my picture album and came across some photos from my stay in Europe. After spending a year at Dresden (Germany), I spent my second year of masters at Delft (Holland). Holland is a country 1/3 of which is below sea level! It's populated with really tall human beings (avg height of men is more than 6 feet 1). Here are some pics during my stay there.

This is the 13th floor where one of my friends (Manoj) stayed, we used to meet up very often and cook and eat our food together.

Holland has a lot of people from Surinam (it was a dutch colony in South America and has a large population of migrated Indians (Biharis). Holi is celebrated very nicely by the Surinamese there. The pic below is with Mandar Apte, he is the guy who got me back into art of living!

Den Haag (The Hague) is a city about 10 -15 mins (by train) from Delft. It has a beautiful beach and there are trampolines at the beachside. Summers over there were simply awesome! And by the way how do you find my long hair 60's look;).

Holland is a beautiful place with loads of rainfall round the year. Some really strong winds at times!

With its capital as Amsterdam, Holland is really famous for a lot of things, like the Tulip Garden (now what were you thinking;)).

Holland is also famous for many other things also like art, museums, windmills, dykes, bicycles, cheese, and of course drugs and prostitution!

My entire stay at Europe, was superb! Had an amazing scholarship, was studying at one of the topmost universities in the world in a world renowned lab, had a car of my own, had a German girlfriend, had a nice set friends, very often traveled around the country and the continent.

Although seemingly it was all superb, I felt some kind of emptiness deep inside, some kind of vacuum. Nothing could really fill that vacuum. No amount of going to the beach, partying, sports, gym, lab work, studies, spending time with friends/girlfriend, TV, talking on the phone or anything could really do anything to fill that. All it could do was, give me some consolation for some time and then I'm back with the same emptiness! I had everything yet nothing! Life had become juice-less! Until, will continue some other time.

There was a phase in my life. I used to spend a lot of time in front of the mirror. Combing my hair, changing hairstyles, making funny faces, looking at my body, admiring myself, commenting on myself, etc.

One day I had this question: Why do I want to look good? So that people look at me? So that people get attracted to me? So that people come and speak to me? So that they take care of me? That day I decided. I don't want to look good! I want to look bad. I want to look ugly! I wanted to check, will people still love me?

So, I started growing my hair, beard, didn't care about what I wore, and made sure that I didn't wear something that looked very nice. I had started looking not cool at all! I noticed that now, I didn't care to come in front of the camera if someone took a photo. I started noticing that some people would not talk properly to me, some would ignore me, some would even run away from me, some would talk with pity!

Another thing that I noticed was. I had started looking really horrible! Long uncombed hair with scanty beard already looked awful, but to add further, I had a fall on ice and got my eye swollen, and then I hit the same spot again, and the swelling only increased! I cut my tongue, with all that I had started to look like a ghost!

That's when this thing struck me. I had decided to look ugly, so the nature also started to support me! That's when I realized the power of my thought, and the unseen universe helping me to manifest my thoughts (watch the movie/book "The Secret"). And then I realized, OK. One ought to look presentable so that people at least talk to me without pity or being repelled! And not be obsessed with LOOKS:)!

Continuing the "Holland-Delft" post. I was out of art of living activities during my stay in Germany and a part of my stay in Holland (I was totally into AOL for 3 years while at IIT!). Those days I used to think AOL (Art of Living) was for the masses, not for me. I felt I was very special, very deep and profound, and I felt AOL could not really attend to me personally (by the way I still believe that I am very special, and each one of us is!:)). So, I had started practicing some other intense and rigorous technique about which I'll write some other time.

After staying in Holland, slowly but surely I started getting back into AOL. I'm still grateful to Mandar apte whose gentle and persistent efforts got me back to AOL! Once I was back on the AOL track I started following the three S's - Seva Sadhna & Satsang (I described 3 S's in the last para of "wake up") very sincerely. And so I decided to assist in a part-I course planned to be taken by Mandar bhai. I was let down by the people at the center. I was told that only those who have done TTC (Teacher Training Course) phase 1 can assist in courses, and that I can only sit and repeat the course. Repeating the course was absolute JOY! That was the time I experienced the importance of lightness required to attain profound knowledge! At this juncture I decided to postpone the rigorous technique (which I was following) for some other time, as I was not doing justice to it and start Sudarshan Kriya again! Now there was no stopping. I just wanted to do TTC - 1 and start assisting in courses and do seva. I also went to the German Ashram and did an advanced (Part 2) course there.

I had it all planned up for myself. My Masters would finish by August (2007), I would undergo the TTC -1 starting in August in India. Then I would travel around India doing some seva in villages, meet my relatives around the country, then come back to Holland and start with fancy consulting job at Amsterdam in November, start to work and do seva (I would be officially assisting courses!). Even my stay at Holland was planned. A friend of mine from IIT Madras (placed in the same company) and me would share a flat (maybe near some beach). I was so excited about the plan!

This was what I had planned! Apparently, divine had some other plans for me. To be continued after I get at least some comments asking me to continue;) .

At the end of my masters I had it all planned up for myself. My Masters would finish by August (2007), I would undergo the TTC -1 starting in August in India. Then I would travel around India doing some seva in villages, meet my relatives around the country, then come back to Holland and start with fancy consulting job at Amsterdam in November, start to work and do seva (I would be officially assisting courses!). Even my stay at Holland was planned. A friend of mine from IIT Madras (placed in the same company) and me would share a flat (maybe near some beach). I was so excited about the plan!

I had applied for this TTC 1, beforehand, but due to some miscommunication, the last date had passed, my referee for TTC 1(who was the head of art of living Holland), requested specially to guruji for me. But the answer was. ‘we’ll see later’. I was very determined to do the course this time (I was already called for TTC 1 when I was in Germany a year and a half earlier). I arranged to arrive from Holland just a day before the start of TTC 1 at the Bangalore ashram. I met guruji that day, and told him “ guruji I want to do this TTC, I’ve come from Holland to do this course…” He answered me with a question. ‘ tu kya Holland se sirf isi ke liye aaya hai?’ (have you come from Holland just for this?’). He has this knack of answering questions in subtle ways. This question made me realize that how much commitment was he asking! I had specifically arranged to land on the start date for the course, but I was not in India just for the course! I told him this, and there was no answer! I was disappointed!

I didn't give up, that very evening I went to the ashram for the satsang, and guruji spoke about, difference between desire and intention (actually my father was talking about this that very afternoon, but I didn’t pay attention). He said that intention does not have feverishness, whereas a desire has feverishness associated with it. I was thinking to myself that if this course doesn't happen this time, I'm going to leave Art of living and run away and just then guruji says "A desire when unfulfilled generates a void, which could lead to anger, frustration etc". Then he said, a desire when fulfilled generates an even bigger void since it generates an even bigger desire! I suddenly realized that I was simply being too feverish about doing the course!

I wrote a mail to bawa (who was my basic course teacher) after this, and he invited me for a chat. He told me, we need people like you. Stay back in India, and don’t go to Holland! I was in a shock. Suddenly I felt a strong urge to just do that! But when I told this to my parents, they were in a bigger shock! A few more days at home, and I was convinced again to go back to join my new job in Holland.

I registered for an advanced course as a compensation for TTC 1. This was the advanced course that transformed me! One of the last sessions in the course was about bhakti, that’s when I realized who my guru was. I was so lost all this while! Tears of gratitude rolled down my cheeks, and I started crying like a baby! Screaming and crying, I could not believe, that I could put up such a show! The intellect in me was saying. "what's happening?" but I just could not control! That evening, guruji was meeting all the participants. When he came in front of me, he was surrounded by a swarm of people, dodging through them his eyes looked directly at me and he said. ‘haaa, kahan tha tu? Kya naam hai tera?’ (yaaa, where were you? what is your name?) . I was in a shock! I had never met guruji like this! He then shook my shoulder and asked me. ‘haan bol, bol, kya poochna hai’ (yaa go ahead, ask what you wanted to ask?). Actually during this advanced course, I was again reconsidering to stay back and not go to Holland, and that’s what I wanted to ask him. He heard my question, and slowly moved his head and said ‘India hi thik hai’. That’s it! It was decided for me!

Now came the part of convincing parents, brother & sister-in-law, cousins, relatives, friends, girlfriend, friends of my parents, aunties & uncles! Basically it was the testing time of my faith & courage! I didn’t want to ignore anyone’s opinion! I knew that elders have much more life experience than me. But I had the faith in my guru also!

I was on my way to IIM Bangalore for an appointment, when a traffic cop stopped me! Every time a cop stops me, I usually feel this sudden something (not very pleasing) in the stomach. This time also the same thing happened, but it vanished very soon. Surprisingly I was very calm and composed! The cop said park it right at the corner of the road and so I did.

All begin with the same first line. " license, car papers, insurance, pollution test please ". In that one breath they demand so much! I was only able to find my original license, and the photocopy of the car registration. I decided ' I will not lie ' and then I got off my car with a smiling face. The reason I was stopped was that, the car had a 'Chandigarh' registration. All non Karnataka registered vehicles are supposed to pay a tax to the state (otherwise the car is seized until one pays the tax which was around Rs. 20,000)! He asked me. "whose car is it?". I said it's my parents' car. "we are from defense" I added. Everything seemed to become fine (usually they don't fine defense people) , and then he asked me "which unit does your father working in?". Now since I had decided I would not lie. I said "He retired less than a year ago".

And that was it! He said that means he is not in the defense any more. He said "your car will have to be seized". After some persuasion and convincing, he ended up saying that he would allow me to take the car, provided I fill the form of tax payment there and then, and leave my original driving license with him. He then started filling the form. Somehow Art of Living also came up, and while he was filling the form, I told him. "Sir, you please do the course. It's a very nice course". He stopped filling and started talking about god, then he told me that he has been to the ashram and loved the place. Then I proposed to him to do the weekend course at the ashram (fri, sat, sun). He said, "You know I'm a very short-tempered person. Do I look like one?" he asked me. Then he said everyone at his office are really irritated and annoyed with him all the time, the moment they see him they say, look "tension mahadev" has come. Suddenly he stopped filling the form. He said. You are a teacher with Guruji right? I didn't believe it earlier. But now I believe. You are doing such great work. You please go!

I was like. "Are you sure". I mean you have some rules to follow. He said. I'm sure. You please go. He then took my phone number and told me that he would contact me when he comes to the ashram. I again urged him to do the course as soon as possible. He smiled, and we left.

One never knows, who is waiting for you to tell them about the course!

In life there are so many times we are faced with this question, whether to follow the heart, what I feel or, to follow the head, our commitment?

Actually first we need to understand what following the heart really means. Following the heart doesn't mean follow what you feel, follow what your senses or the urges say. Following the heart really means, something deeper, following the heart may make you feel hungry, make you feel humiliated in front of the whole world, may make you feel tired. But when one truly is following the heart, these things don't matter. They don't affect you. Actually following your heart really means, acting spontaneously. Living in the moment.

Every moment the heart is shouting out to tell you what to do. But until one is sensitive enough. One is intuitive enough. One doesn't hear it!

Now, the heart may say weird things to do. There is no reason to it, you just feel it, and you don't even know how long you would feel it! That's why it's really important to first check that what you are hearing is really from your heart. Can you face the whole world, if they came up and said what you are doing is wrong, can you face physical beating, can you face hunger. If the answer is yes for all, then that is from the heart.

Once one hears what the heart is calling out. Then comes the head. Head basically just finds out logic for the thing you want to follow. Anything can be logically proved or disproved. So having a good logic only helps you to become more acceptable to the logical people around you and so called society around you!

I guess, until that clarity on calling of the heart hasn't come. One just keeps on doing whatever one is doing, 100% and sticking with their commitment.

I did this experiment with myself very recently. I just 'felt' very strongly that I want to meet guruji. So. I just walked towards where he stays, and.

Continuing from "Coming Back from Holland, Continued," The moment Guruji told me, "India hi thik hai," I had decided: I'm going to stay in India. Now came the part of convincing parents, brother & sister-in-law, cousins, relatives, friends, girlfriend, friends of my parents, aunties & uncles! Basically it was the testing time of my faith & courage! I didn’t want to ignore anyone’s opinion! I knew that elders have much more life experience than me. But I had the faith in my guru also!

I had heard so many stories from so many people and they all said, that if guruji tells you something then you should really do it! There were people who had listened to him and there were people who hadn't. The people who hadn't, had stories of regret and people who had, seemed to be happy about their decisions.

I had absolutely no plans of staying back in India! All my belongings were lying in Holland at my friend's places. I was to join my first job at Amsterdam. Every thing seemed to be 'secured' and 'sure' there. Over here, I didn't know where I was heading, what would happen to me, what would I do or how I would survive. But just one line from him 'India hi thik hai' gave me security.

If I look back now, hearts of hearts this was what I was waiting for (Just one line from guruji!). This was the first time in my life, I was about to take a such a big step. When I told that I'm not going back to Holland to my mom & dad, they were obviously shocked! Dad was still quite okay from day 1 but mom was in a shock! My brother, although he hasn't done the Art of Living course was supportive, but was also in a shock. Dad 's stance was, if you are very sure then go ahead. Mom's stance was shut up, just go back and work! Brother's stance was, how can you trust someone so much on the basis of just one line! He didn't hear your whole background he doesn't know you, how can you give up everything just on that one line!

No matter what I was going to tell my parents, relatives or friends. It all depended on the clarity and faith I had! There was this battle within me about doing what 'feels' right and what 'seems' right! If I looked at the reasons, why I wanted to go back. "All my belongings were there". "I was getting a good package and all material comforts there". "That's how everyone who is 'doing well' is supposed to do!". "That's how I had been living all my life!". "I didn't want be a rebellious youth". All this seemed right. But hearts of hearts didn't feel right! I needed more courage to follow, this feeling!

Thankfully a month later (2-Oct-07), my brother, my father and I met guruji in Delhi. My father told Guruji "Guruji, he has gone mad after you. He has studied from IIT and done his masters from Abroad, and now he has a job abroad but wants to be with you." Guruji said. Yaa, take a break, join later. My brother intervened and asked Guruji to tell me to do both, AOL and job. So then Guruji said. Yaa, do both, you can do both. Then he asked when is the joining? So I said November. He said. Ooh there is lot of time, then he looked at me and said " tu to Bangalore aa raha hai na" (You are coming to Bangalore right). I was like in a shock. I mean. I was going to go to Bangalore for Navaratri. But how did he know. So I said yes to him, and then he left. My brother was like. He has given so many options. Basically you can do anything and he would say yes to everything!

I had great hopes from this meeting. But everything didn't get very clear even after the meeting. My brother was still not convinced. But just 3 days later (On my b'day:)). I saw Guruji again. Although he totally ignored me till the end (I felt worse than a wallpaper!). But just before leaving. As we were seeing him off. He stood in front of me and asked "Tu Bangalore aa raha hai na? "(You are coming to Bangalore right?). I said yes. He said, "Kal humare saath chalo" (Come to Bangalore with me tomorrow). And that was my 24th B'day gift. An invitation to the ashram by His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar!

I flew down to Bangalore with him. Stayed at the ashram for a day or two and met Guruji in his Kutir. I wondered what to ask him. So I asked him, whether I should quit the job at Holland or postpone. He started laughing! Everyone there started laughing, and then said. " chalo abhi ke liye postpone kar lo" (for now you postpone). How gently he takes you with him. That was very easy for me. So, I told at home. I'm just postponing for now. Which was not so difficult to accept!

An article on me just got published in Hindustan Times. It's nice to see one's picture (although the picture here is with my bald head!) and write-up in a newspaper. I hope it inspires people to start following their heart!

For the past two months I have been staying at the ashram! Every single day at the ashram has its own story and learning! Here is one interesting incident that happened recently.

Being in the "Events team" at the ashram, we are the ones who need to arrange all the requirements for various courses that happen at the ashram (which includes right from fixing up a venue, providing sound system, water, a teacher etc). Very often I end up conducting the morning Yoga sessions for different courses.

One morning I had a yoga session for the 'Blessing's Course'. But the more important and challenging thing was. The night before, at 11 pm I got an SMS from 'Alex' that 10 roses with stems are required for Blessings course at 6:30 am! My yoga session started at 6 am. I called up Ganesh (another events team member). And he and me obviously were upset about the 'timely' message. He told me to tell 'Bina' (the lady who usually arranged for the flowers). I messaged Bina, and got an instant 'sorry can't arrange' reply! I called back Alex and gave it to him and asked why he hadn't sent me the message earlier & why did he not send the message to anyone else from our team? But then it was not his fault also. Actually my phone battery had conked off.

Basically, it was neither his fault nor mine. The situation could have been avoided, had he messaged to other team members. The situation could also have been avoided if I had got my phone charged earlier! In fact the situation could have been avoided if so many things had happened or not have happened! That's when I realized one thing. In times of crises, instead of looking for solutions, very often we start finding out 'whom to blame'! So, I messaged back to Alex "Sorry, it's not your fault. I'll manage somehow". And that's when I learned another thing! If we take the ownership of a mistake that has happened, we start getting support. Prompt came his reply "It's ok. If there is any problem in the morning, let me know, I'll help you:)".

So, now I went on to seeing how to solve the problem. I called up Ganesh, he said that there are some people who come and sell flowers near the ashram kitchen at 6 am, and then he assured me that we'll manage somehow. That line gave me so much assurance, that I went to sleep peacefully (I took that "we'll manage something" as "he'll manage something"). Next morning at 5 am or so, I get this message from Ganesh " The time at which they start selling flowers near the kitchen is not sure. The flowers are not arranged!" What a beginning to a day I thought! Then I started having this feeling that Ganesh is playing a prank on me! While getting ready to take the yoga session I made a few phone calls here and there (just in case, it is not a prank!). Finally I went to wake up a 'Rajiv' who stays below my block. He gave a contact of another guy, who actually gets flowers for the ashram every time. That guy told me that people near kitchen start selling flowers at 6. Now my feeling that Ganesh is fooling me increased! Nevertheless I told Rajiv that he would be the backup guy. In case everything fails, he would go on his bike and get the flowers from nearby village or city if required, one more possibility came up. To get roses from Guruji's Kutir. Now there were several options. I passed on these options to Ganesh and happily started the yoga session. I was still thinking that Ganesh would manage it (All this while I was thinking that he is playing a prank on me and he already has a way to arrange it!)! It was 6:45am and the flowers didn't arrive! I thought, now the prank is getting too much! 6:53am Swami Sadhyojataji (The teacher of the blessings course arrived). As soon as he entered, he looked at me and asked " Flowers arranged? ". I said, "Actually we got the message only at 11 pm, but, I'll just get it!". He said " ok… 25 mins " and smiled. I said " Ya sure" with a smile. Now. I had no idea what was happening. I called up Ganesh. He sounded quite intense and told me that he had checked in the neighboring village, and also near the kitchen! There are no flowers! That's when I realized that it was NOT a prank! Now, there were hardly 20 mins and.

Any guesses what happened next? Next post is coming on Tuesday (16 Feb).

PS: Guesses only for those whom I haven't told the story:).

Continuing from the previous post (Ringa Ringa Roses). I called up Ganesh. He sounded quite intense and told me that he had checked in the neighboring village, and also near the kitchen! There are no flowers! That's when I realized that it was NOT a prank! Now, there were hardly 20 mins and.

Suddenly, I asked, what about flowers from Guruji's place? He said, " oohh. I forgot about it totally!" He then called up where Guruji stays and asked 'Pursu'. Ganesh called me back and told me that Pursu will arrange, you go and collect. Now, to go to that place and come back would take a lot of time. So, I first called rajiv (who was staying very close to that place) who would go on his bike and get it! Then I thought. Why not, I only run and get it! So, I called Rajiv again and told him that he didn't have to bother, I would just need his bike on the way back and I ran!

As soon as I reached there. I see Guruji in his morning walk dress, walking around. I don't know what happened but I felt shy, and hid behind a pillar. As I peeped from behind the pillar, He saw me and gestured me to come to him. As I walked up the stairs. He had both his arms open and gestured me to come to him. As I went closer. I started smelling fresh roses! He said, " oohh so you have come to take roses!", and then hugged me really tightly. Then he said, "Am I not a rose?". I didn't know what to answer! Then he said, "smell me, don't you smell rose?", he brought his arm close to my nose, and said. "smell, smell". Right from the time I was walking up the steps I could smell roses and didn't know where they were coming from, and now he was bringing his arm even closer and I realized where the fragrance came from! That was ONE experience! Then he came to the point. He said." hmm, roses kahan milenge. Ganga mein " (where will we find roses, maybe in Ganga Kutir). Just while he was saying this. Pursu (whom Ganesh had spoken to…) signaled that roses were just there! And then. Guruji went inside, and Pursu followed him, signaling me again and again. Now, suddenly I realize I still don't have the roses! I called up Pursu, but he wouldn't pickup the phone! I went around and didn't find the roses wherever Pursu signaled. And then I met Ganesh. He was standing at the gate. The security guard was letting him go in at all! He couldn't get through to Pursu (who would have let him in by telling the guard), and Ganesh was basically pissed off! According to him Pursu had arranged flowers and kept it there. Pursu was also signaling that it was close by. But Guruji said. Ganga. Now, Ganga was at least another 15 mins! Ganesh also said that he had already been to Ganga, and it was closed. But then I thought. If Guruji has said Ganga. Then, I'll go to Ganga. The moment I was clear and we (Ganesh and me now) got ready to go to Ganga. One guy came running, telling the security guard to give the flowers. Apparently Ganesh was standing at the gate for 5 mins fighting to get inside with the guard who had the flowers! That's when this thing got clear in me again. You just follow what HE says, and things will fall in place! Ganesh and I rode back to the course venue, where I handed over the flowers to Swamiji, gestured goodbye to him and left the room! As I walked out of the place, I looked at the time. It was 6:21am. I figured out I would have taken exactly 25 mins for the job!

As the day passed, I thought about all that happened that morning. I realized, that for the past few days, I had been really wanting to meet Guruji. And HE had been royally ignoring me! The day and time, where I had the least expectation. He met me royally! I opened my 'esatsang daily sutra' that very day and I read this: "All that you are craving for, all that you are hanging on to, it comes to you anyway, automatic. But you have to let go. You are holding your fist tight. Why not open your hands? And you'll see the whole sky is in your hands."

The idea of YES!+ JAM was conceived when some of my students from Vellore Institute of Technology (Sanchit, Sakshi, Vibhor & Shubam) met me at the ashram. We decided that let's have an event where lots of students come over to a place. They get some music, they enjoy and then join in for a YES!+ course starting in a day after that. They were finishing with their exams on 17th Feb and so the tag line. "End the exam with YES!+ jam".

17th Feb. 'Ishant' a brilliant singer from Bangalore, a few people with him and me reached Vellore. The stage was set, and we were expecting about 300 people. Well, the program started with some film songs, but the crowd was still not moving. People started coming but were sitting far away. People were so stiff and sitting with this expectation to impress them! At its peak there were about 270 - 300 people. But then they started leaving. I attempted to talk, hoping that it may stop them, but it was a mistake! We started off a bhajan, and more people started leaving. That's when I caught myself. I thought to myself. Why was I looking at people who are leaving! I should rather talk to people who are listening to me! So, I gave a short pep talk, and started a meditation! By now there were about 100 people left. Then Ishant started with some bhajans! And finally it caught on! People started moving & dancing to the tunes of Raaaaaa, dheeeee. By the end people were singing & dancing with the bhajans and it was rocking! People were shouting for " We want more! ". That's when I came back and said. More, in the next YES!+. Few volunteers came and shared their experiences about the course. Gave them a little more idea about YES!+ and called it a day!

At the end. I asked the volunteers, how many people registered for the next YES!+? the answer was 5! We had about 15 people in total who were joining the course and 1 day to go! Volunteers had worked really well for the YES!+ jam, and were tired! Although the 'JAM' did end in high spirits (with whoever was there till the end). The volunteers were not in such high spirits! Instead of coming with me for dinner most of them left for their hostel rooms. Actually only 2 volunteers (Govind & Sidharth) joined me. So, the 'JAM' band, the 2 volunteers and me had our dinner. After the dinner, the 'JAM' band left to return to Bangalore, and the 2 volunteers also left for their hostels (actually they were with me much beyond their 'in time'). That's when I realized, my accommodation was not arranged. The volunteers told me that I could go to the lodge where I usually stayed. So, I went there and it was 'jam packed', there was another lodge next door which was also full!

It was 11 pm when I was standing all alone on the roadside. I had two bags with me, a backache, nowhere to go, dead tired (my day started early morning from Bangalore), a flop 'YES!+ JAM' behind me, 15 participants in the next course! Things were obviously not happening the way I wanted, but I don't know why, I was still calm and relaxed, deep within I had this feeling "AALL IS WELL". I felt so sure that Guruji was with me every moment! To be continued.

It was 11 pm when I was standing all alone on the roadside. I had two bags with me, a backache, nowhere to go, dead tired (my day started early morning from Bangalore), a flop 'YES!+ JAM' behind me, 15 participants in the next course! Things were obviously not happening the way I wanted, but I don't know why, I was still calm and relaxed, deep within I had this feeling "AALL IS WELL". I felt so sure that Guruji was with me every moment!

I called up Govind (one of the volunteers who had dinner with me), and he said he would do something. I would have waited for hardly 2 minute and I get a call from the Art of Living District Coordinator of Vellore. He asked me where I was and that he was coming by car to pick me up. He picked me up and we checked out some more lodges which were also full, and finally I stayed over at his office (which had a bed and an attached toilet, it was pretty ok!). So stay was done. I was too tired to think of anything else. So, just crashed on the bed. Next morning I got up did my sadhana and called for a meeting with all the volunteers at the college at 12:30 pm.

I was there sharp at 12:30 and there was NO volunteer! I waited for some time and slowly all the volunteers showed up. The expression on their face was as if a Tsunami had just hit their place! It was as if the whole world was shouting at them! They had to face all the people who were disappointed by the YES!+ jam. It was such a beautiful moment. All the knowledge points that were learnt in the YES!+ course had to be applied in real life in this situation. "Accept the situation as it is". " Don't be a football of others opinions ". So after figuring out the learning and all the things that 'should have been done' and the things that 'should be done' in future, we moved on. Although it was not easy to move on. Because when everyone is at you, it's very difficult to shun it away and move on. We played a very simple game, which made us realize that what ever we focus on, is exactly what we see! At this point of time this knowledge was so very applicable and it simply struck everyone! So, we decided to focus on getting people to the course!

There were only about 15 people registered for the next course till that point. Even they were not fully registered. So I asked the volunteers, how many people at the course were they looking at. They said. 25 - 30 people course seems a good target! I said. No matter what you all think. When you 4 people had left the ashram, we had thought that we want to see like a 100 people course. And when I left the ashram I had just this thought that there would be 100+ people on the course! I know that the situation is such, where realistically there is no chance of getting anywhere close to the number. We talk about miracles. Here is a chance to experience a miracle! Does anyone want to really test out whether these 'miracles' really work? Does anyone want to join me? I didn't know how this really came out of me. I remember, just before I said that, there was an atmosphere of dejection and helplessness. No one could not even dream that a target like 100 was possible. I don't know how I said what I said. Those words changed something. The volunteers who were in the face saving mode. Turned around and were now getting in a situation of telling people to join the course. From not even imagining, everyone over there started believing that it was possible! From no faith. Everyone started having faith. Ten of the 13 volunteers joined in. The 10 people started believing that it would happen with 100 people! One thing I learnt from this was that, when your own belief is strong, people just join you!

And then the question came. HOW do go about it? Several ideas came up. Actually at this point 'Anjana' came up with this thought… 100 people doesn't mean that 100 new people should come to the course! There can be people who have already done the course! Here you go. We had already started getting somewhere. We planned 2 introductory talks at the campus lawns before the course (one that evening and one next afternoon). I don't know how and from where. But people just came joined. Finally at the course, there were about 80 people who experienced the first long sudarshan kriya! I guess, the reason for having that number was, still having some doubt somewhere, but nevertheless it was a great experience for me and all the volunteers altogether!

The participants had a ball of a time! In fact the whole course ended with a cleanliness drive! Everyone in the course got together on the last day and cleaned the front area of the college from plastic bags! That's the whole idea of the YES!+ course. To empower youth and channelize their energy in a constructive way.

For many years I had no clue what ‘Gratitude’ really meant. People used to talk about being grateful for what we have. Just look at people who are poorer than you would see how lucky you are. This is what my mom used to say. Frankly, it really didn’t strike me. Nevertheless I never discarded what was said. I just heard it and then forgot it.

The first time when it really struck me was when I did my 5th advanced course at the Bangalore ashram. Tears just rolled out of my eyes, my throat was choked, and I was crying like a baby. While this was happening, my intellect was watching, and asking me “why am I crying”. I had no idea. I just knew that I was crying and my throat was choked and I was feeling thoroughly ‘GRATEFUL’. Grateful for so many great things that had happened in my life. Although I had always thought about them but I had never felt like this about all those events! I used to think that all of them either happened through coincidence or ‘I’ had worked hard to get to that result! And that was the turning point in my life. It was like a new life for me. As if I was reborn.

Although it was a big turning point but it was not the end, it was just a beginning of a new attitude in life. It opened a new dimension to looking at things and events around me. And now, I feel, in life, events are just events, but what matters is our attitude of looking at the event. We could see the same event and feel sad and miserable and we could see the same event and feel grateful. It's all on us, it's all about our attitude. For example. Pigeon shit falls on our head and we could feel ‘ oohh why did it fall on me’ complaint and feel miserable or think ‘wow! I’m the chosen one!’ or ‘ wow so good that it didn’t fall on the cake that I’m holding!’ and really feel happy and grateful about it!

Actually the attitude has two effects. One is on the present state of mind. One feels miserable or grateful in the moments during the event or some moments after the event. The other is on the future events that would happen. As the law of karma or the ‘secret’ says. What you think, is what you attract to you. So, if one feels grateful, one would attract gratefulness, i.e. More events that would make one feel even more grateful in future. Similarly if one feels miserable, unsatisfied, or lack, one would attract more events that would make one feel even more miserable, unsatisfied or more lack! And that is why the quote in the bible says “Those who have would be given, and those who don’t, whatever they have will be taken away”. It is basically talking about “having” the feeling of abundance, the feeling of gratitude.

However whatever said here, is very easy to say than to do it, and to apply it in daily life. Till the time I hadn’t experienced it myself, I thought that how can I fake a feeling. If I feel miserable, a sense of lack, a sense of inadequateness how can I fake it and say, I feel great, I feel grateful! However, one thing I follow sincerely is “ Fake it till you make it”. Being aware that you are faking and then faking is different from suppressing the current feeling and faking of another feeling. It is not about fooling yourself! It is just about choosing to be in it or not. And then sadhana, seva and satsang, has slowly but surely, changed the pattern of the feelings, or the attitude towards life!

A real life process that inevitably every full time Art of Living teacher enjoys in their life is the "Handling the parents process "! And I tell you it is really deep and insightful. Here is my version of the 'process'.

Luckily for me, my dad was cool. He always had just one stance. "If you are sure. Go ahead! ". He was my only supporter. I feel so grateful for that!

All the strength, patience, and faith was tested with my mom! I remember, each time anyone of her friend or relative asked my mom what her son was doing (generally). My mom would become silent. She would almost cry! Each time she would talk to me or meet me she would be in tears! And I tell you it's not easy to see that. When you see people who really love you so much, crying because of you. But then. If I looked at the reasons, why she was crying, they were " He has such a nice job & salary there?". " What will he do here?". " How will he survive?". " What about us? ". " How will he take care of us?". " How shall I face my friends & relatives?". " What about his marriage?", etc.

Basically all these were questions that were mainly coming from 'insecurity' & 'herd mentality'. And that is what a large majority of parents in India suffer from. So, at that point all I would say is, have faith and all will be taken care off! I would tell her, "You think I serve the whole world and no one would take care of me? ".

While making my decision, the only thing that I was not too happy about was that, I thought that I would not be able to support my parents financially. After being placed in Holland, I had promised my parents that I would fund them for making a house. I told them they wouldn't have to worry about any luxuries. Now, I just had this doubt that what about all that. However, then I thought to myself that they anyway have everything they need, I would not be able to satisfy all their 'greed'. So what. After a few months at the ashram, my dad was retiring from Air Force. This question again came up. What about making the house in Ooty. Where would they stay. What about the income. What about a new job etc.

It is said, that when one walks on the spiritual path, all the merit of 'seva, satsang & sadhana' first goes to their ancestors up to 7 generations! And this is what I started seeing. I saw my parents prospering and blossoming in every way. Before dad retired, he had several great job offers. And the best one was in Bangalore itself! My mother who used to feel so unsecured, specially about money matters, now had completely changed. As if 'abundance' had dawned on her. Actually abundance had really dawned upon our whole family. We had an old plot that gave us unexpected returns. Dad got a great job! They bought a nice flat, and started building the Ooty house.

After all the fear, insecurity, crying, fighting, sulking. Finally my parents feel so proud of me now! Earlier, if someone asked, " Your son has studied from IIT and abroad. And now, what is he doing, what is he going into?". She would just breakdown and would not have anything to say. But now, SHE tells people. " My son, although he is from IIT, he travels around the country and spreads happiness around the whole world!".

It is said that:

In the presence of the sat guru;

Knowledge flourishes (Gyana raksha); Sorrow diminishes (Dukha kshaya); Joy wells up without any reason (Sukha aavirbhava); Abundance dawns (Samriddhi); All talents manifest (Sarva samvardhan).

And I started to see all these happening not only in my life, but with my parents as well!

I have shifted to the ashram since about eight months. And for me, it’s the most amazing place to be, in the whole world! Life just flows out here. Hours pass by into days, into weeks, into months. One just doesn’t realize how time flies in the blissful state here! It's not so different from staying outside in terms of work. There is a lot of work and sometimes one spends nights, staying awake. It's not that there are no tough times. There are times where you feel so miserable that you think nothing life just cannot go on! But the difference is. Everything that one experiences here is magnified and intense. Every joy is intense, and every sorrow is also intense, because there is nothing that distracts the mind from the joy or misery. The other difference is that all the learning is highly quickened! The rate at which one learns here compared to learning from life outside, is really really fast! No matter what problems come, by the evening, when one sits in the satsang. Everything is washed out! Next day is a brand new fresh day, ready with new surprises! Actually that’s it. Every day out here waits with new surprises! Actually that’s how one can have a life anywhere in the world. But one tends to get caught up in the outside. And that’s the difference here. One gets this practice of going out and then quickly come back inside. The ‘satva’ or the energy here is simply amazing! I see this place as a laboratory. Where one can experiment whatever one wishes to research about one’s own mind, emotions and tendencies.

Our second son Vishal was born one fine morning and next day, Bidar had the heaviest rains in 30 years. The trusty Bullet motorcycle that he would grow up and learn to ride, still brought his mother's hot soup and nutritious meal to the Methodist hospital where he was born, 3.7 Kg with a full head of hair a very cute baby by any standards.

When he did the first advanced course in 2002, we his parents knew at once that he had changed. Gone was the hot headedness and impulsive behavior. That doesn't mean the energy was less, far from it. He continued to do well at IIT Delhi and went on to win a scholarship to do advanced studies abroad.

As a father, it is a great joy watching my child getting ahead of me at less than half my age on the ONLY path that really matters, with the Guru's Grace.

- Mr. Ruby N Merani (Dad)

This young Vishal changed my attitude in life. Made me get the feeling of abundance. I now do everything by and large with a relaxed mind and "SO WHAT. " and " LET GO. " with these two Phrases My working style has changed,I just don't get stuck to one activity for too long which I used to earlier and then miss out on something else and then get annoyed and keep pondering on it. I owe this to Vishal for bearing with me so patiently. This makes me feel more stress free and I feel my energy is fully channelled in the right direction.

He has also brought discipline in my life, courtesy him I do my kriya everyday.

I am quite amazed to see that he wastes no time. Each and every moment of his life is so beautifully utilised, otherwise earlier a lot of time was wasted lazing around.

From childhood he was very focused and intense and was quite a perfectionist.

There is so much and so much to tell about him. He is an all rounder, good in music, academics,sports, excellent athlete,swimmer, spirituality, humanity, kindness are just oozing out of him.

The GURU is with him. GOD BLESS HIM.

- Mrs. Indira Merani (Mom)

And it's a HAPPY Family:)

PS: This post is a surprise gift for the owner of this blog by the

DELHI YES PLUS Team

Happy Teacher's Day:)

I had heard so many stories about, how Guruji values love and devotion more than anything. He doesn't see what food he eats, but with what love and devotion that food is made. It doesn't matter how loudly you call him, but with what love in your heart you call him. It doesn't matter how big errors you make, but with what intention you make. It doesn't matter how big or small you are, but what devotion you have. But when he is with you, he behaves so normally, that one is not able to hold on to so many concepts and stories that one hears about and one doesn't even realize what happened!

About three years ago, I wanted to ask Guruji a question. The question was whether I should quit my job or join my job back (I had postponed the joining of my job). I had been staying at the ashram for about 3-4 months by then. I was pretty happy at the ashram but I still wanted to make sure that I don't take a wrong step. So, that evening, he was walking, and he looked at me and asked me " haan kaisa hai? " (How are you?). I said, " Thik hoon, ek question tha " (I'm fine, wanted to ask a question). He said, " haan tum humare saath Belgaum chalo wahan set karte hain tumko. " (You come with me to Belgaum we'll sort it out there). I didn't know what happened! I was obviously elated! Slowly, as the fact was getting digested, the fact that GURUJI has invited ME to travel with him, started getting to my head. This is a very common phenomenon, when he pampers you, one feels YOU are the only one! So, I started becoming stiff and proud thinking that no one is so great as I am, and blah blah.

So, when the date to leave came closer, I had to book the tickets etc. The ticketing people asked me, that you get a confirmation from Guruji's secretariat. So, I went to one of Guruji's secretary, and told him to send the confirmation. He said, he would ask Guruji and send it. A day later, I meet the secretary, and asked him. He said, " Guruji said he doesn't remember telling you anything like that!". That was it! I couldn't believe it. First I thought the secretary was telling a lie and he hadn't asked, but he seemed to have asked very surely! Then, I thought, how can Guruji forget things! He remembers and knows things that he is not supposed to remember also and here he is saying that he can't remember something that he himself said! I started feeling helpless. I asked other people. Does this happen that Guruji forgets something that he says? They said. Yes, very often he does. I couldn't believe this! I didn't know whom to believe, whether to believe what his secretary told me, or what Guruji told me, or what other people told me. So, then I thought, I'll ask him myself next time. Till the time I got the next chance to ask him directly, all my pride and stiffness had completely gone, I had started feeling vulnerable, humble and grateful. So, when I asked him directly the next time, he said " Yes, yes, you contact swamiji " and left. Later, that day I got a call from swamiji that Guruji has asked me to go with him and bring this one guy along with me. That time I realized how he plays games! Till the time, I was all stiff and proud, he had even forgotten what he himself said. I feel so grateful that he forgot it!

That's when I learnt: every time you become stiff and proud for anything, you lose the connection!

It's really interesting to observe this mind. This mind is really tricky and plays all sorts of games! When, what happens to the mind and the whole trajectory of life changes. An interest in this and going beyond the mind got me to this path, or so my mind thinks:).

Very often I hear people doing things that are not so healthy, justifying their stance by giving other wrong things that people do, or they themselves do! This is how the nature of mind is. It likes to justify itself logically, so that it doesn't have to change and can continue indulging in the vices or habits that it has got used to.

Another way of the mind to justify itself is, it accepts that they do the wrong thing, but are not strong enough to change! Here again, the mind has found an escape route for itself to change from its habit pattern.

One more mode of the mind is that it claims that all these things have an effect, but it really doesn't matter, I am or my mind is strong enough to handle the effect. Well, if the mind is strong enough to handle the effect, then isn't it strong enough to stop the habit?

In many cases, the craving for the sensory pleasures, blinds us and creates this false sense of logic or comfort, and that is why the mind is really tricky, and one has to be really cautious of it. But, how does one become cautious? What can one do, when we are stuck in the illusion? That is where a Guru helps. This is where faith comes in place. If there is a Guru in life, then he removes this curtain that has blinded us and shows us the reality. He authenticates. That is the significance of a Guru in life.

I feel fortunate to have a Guru in life. It is said that Guru comes to you whenever you need him and not whenever you want him! I've seen this happen to me so many times. Every time I've got entangled or stuck somewhere, I've seen him helping me and guiding me through it!

A lot of people ask me " Oh, so you stay at Ashram ", and the very next question is, "So you are not going to get married. People staying at such places don't get married right? ". " Ohh, you must be getting up really early and meditating the whole day! ". " Oh, how do you manage your finances and needs? " . " Ohh. What do you do the whole day? ". It's almost as if I'm an animal of a rare species in the zoo.

Well. The ashram is nothing like that. I thought of writing this post so that people can appreciate the ashram a little better. How I see the ashram is like a University. A university where the subject of study is 'LIFE'. Like 'Professors' in a university, Swamijis or experienced Teachers share their experience to teach new people at the ashram. Equivalent of classes are 'Art of living programs'. Ashramites are like PhD students doing their own research with the assistance of mentors. Sometimes 'Visiting profs' or Guru's or swami's of other 'maths'/ organizations come and share their experience as well.

My own body and mind is my laboratory. The whole day I conduct experiments by doing normal 'seva' activities, which for me at the moment is working with the 'Events Team' of the ashram. Events team as the name suggests is responsible for all the programs and events that happen at the Ashram right from planning, scheduling, inviting people to executing the event/program and taking their feedback and suggestions and then incorporating them in the next event/program. And in this whole process acquiring all the material finances for me and the Ashram as a whole. Material amenities and finances are essential and are definitely required to sustain life and one surely has to do something to get them. However, usually many people just get caught up in just acquiring these amenities! The 'work' done here is more than enough not just to sustain me, but also many more at the Ashram. All this is the 'work' part or the 'running the experiment' part. Like in any experiment we first conduct the experiment and then take observations that is the 'Satsang' part. Where we all sit together, sing together, listen to knowledge, meditate and see how the spoken knowledge was applied or not applied in the day's experiment. Meditation and reading knowledge is like the self study part or the 'swadhyaye'.

As I spend more and more time at the ashram I have started to feel more and more aware of things both inside and outside. By becoming more aware outside I mean, becoming more sensitive to people and situations outside. For example. These, days very often I start seeing how the person in front is feeling, thinking or going to say. Just a few days ago a friend of mine (also an ashramite) came to me and said. You know what. Looking at his face I simply knew what he was going to talk about and told him. He was just taken by surprise (actually he was going to talk about something very different)! I knew the broad topic but not the nitty-gritty. These kind of things have slowly started to increase. Or sometimes I just get to know what is going to happen or who is calling on the phone or if someone is remembering me etc.

By becoming more aware inside I mean, becoming more sensitive to my own body, thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions. As one spends more and more time observing this, one starts seeing how much more there is to it! As a simple example. If we just observe which nostril do we breathe from predominantly at a particular time, a lot of things can be revealed. Or what is the breathing pattern when we are angry, greedy, jealous or in some other state of mind can help us get out of it. Or a keen observation of food intake can simply tell us what food is right and what food has what effect. For example, I simply fast for a day in a fortnight. That whole day I observe the hunger and what effect it has on the system. How, I tend to become angry more easily when hungry, how my thoughts start changing when I'm angry etc, also, there is such a big difference in the way I feel for the next whole week after that!

The longer one spends here, the more aware and more knowledge (both about inside and outside) one starts to get. After some time, one starts going outside this 'university' (Ashram) and starts to give 'guest lectures/public talks' (knowledge talks/ pada yatras/ Art of living courses/ Satsangs) to share with the world one's experience of 'LIFE'.

All this is just a small glimpse of all that happens and that is possible here. Actually come to think of it all this can be done anywhere in the world and all the time. The difference is that this place is more conducive and ideal for this type of 'research' for beginners. A place where the energy levels are so high because thousands of people have meditated here over so many years. Where all the people have the same goal (consciously or subconsciously) but completely different behavior, culture, family background, habits, language, age-group and sex. A perfect example of harmony in diversity. Where else can one find so many saintly people together in one place. The food and the climate ideally suited to go within with more ease. And most important of all. This is the place where Sri Sri Ravi Shankar (whom we can call the most knowledgeable in the research of 'LIFE') spends his maximum time in a year!

I feel so guilty for not writing for so long. Actually, I have written some posts but they are only stored in 'Drafts'. I shall start posting them soon too (hope 'soon' is not like the time difference between this and the last post!). I've decided that even if it's short, I'll just keep posting!

I happened to do the Weeklong Advanced meditation course last month and have been wanting to write this since then. During this course, amongst many things, my teacher (Swami Bhramatej ji) said this amazing sentence on how to eat food. He said "Take half the quantity of food in every bite and double the amount of chewing". Then he said, "U know why? Because Stomach doesn't have teeth!". So. I DID implement that during the course. I would shred the roti piece and really take only half of the piece of roti that I usually used to take. I didn't compromise so much on the vegetables. Then, I would put it in mouth and just start chewing and chewing. I did one more thing. Since chewing was taking so long. I would even close my eyes while chewing. And. I suddenly started to feel that the quality of food at Ashram has suddenly improved! The amount of food that I required to eat had also reduced! It was really so amazing to see this phenomenon!

Since I was talking half the size of the bite, I was aware of what I'm taking and since I was chewing more I really started to taste every bit of thing that I was eating. That's when I realized that the Recipe to the most delicious food can lie on my eating also and not just on the cooking!

One more point that really struck me while I was doing the Weeklong Advanced course. It was about the "Hurry in the mind". Swamiji said, "During this entire course. Remember whenever Hurry comes to your mind, the English hurry not the Sanskrit Hari, just RELAX, tell Hurry please relax and come some other time. I'm not going to Hurry now! And move like a king, with ALL the time in the world! ". Wow, that was such a revelation! I noticed that this Hurry in the mind is the only cause of worry!

For instance, many times I noticed that my stomach doesn't really need food, but just because the food is tasty I want to eat more.

One of the first few times I caught my mind in Hurry was when I realized I was wanting to eat something. I thought I'll eat something and feel better, then I just closed my eyes and checked whether I'm really hungry or what is it. That's when I realized, I didn't really feel hungry. But there was this " hurry in the mind " that was just pushing me to do something. And since eating something seemed to be a good 'time pass' I thought I was tending to just go and eat! It was such an eye opener that eating is so many times just a 'time pass'!

Another time I noticed the 'hurry' coming to my mind was while I was standing in the queue. Every moment I would look at the person in front of me and see if he has moved any bit and then look at the person at the counter and pray that he quickly finishes his job and move so that the person right in front of me steps forward! Sometimes the person right in front of me would not move even though the person in front of him has moved. This would create an even more sense of 'hurry' that 'why isn't this person moving!'

This Hurry is really the feverishness that grips the mind. It makes me not enjoy the moment! It promises that happiness will come only after I complete some action. Actually, this can come in any form. So many times it comes is in the form of desire or ambition (more on that sometime later).

But then I was wondering what do I do when it comes? and I notice that it has come? A few things that I observed work are:

1. The moment I became aware that "Hurry" has come and would just be with it. It would start to subside. The key really is to become aware that the "Hurry" has dawned and to 'watch' it!

2. Some kind of physical exercise/activity. This keeps one occupied and shapes the body (in case of exercise). The physical activity could be some kind of seva, then people are benefited. The physical activity could be eating also:D, but then that doesn't really help anybody (if it's really not required).

3. Just remembering the Sanskrit Hari;).

I'm sure there would be many other ways (I'm curious to read your ideas/ways in the comments).

I was just reminded of one of Guruji's line while writing this post. "The action or the result of the action is not going to give any contentment. First be content and do the action out of contentment!"

This happened on my way back from Vellore, where I had gone to meet with all the YES+ VITian’s. I was at the station with three of my students, Selva, Sakshi and Pooja who had come to drop me.

We were at the station and the train to Bangalore came in. Brindavan express was quite tightly packed. I was waiting for the A/C compartment to come but when train stopped, the A/C compartment was nowhere in sight. Selva announced there is no A/C in this train. I didn’t have a reserved ticket and on seeing how tightly packed the train was, it didn’t seem like I had a good chance of getting one. The TTE, got down from the train and I approached him. Quietly taking him a little on the side I asked him “ Can I have a seat?”. The way I asked, seemed as if I didn't mind paying him a small bribe. He said “Yes, Rs. 50 “. A yes meant that he had the seat. At this point, Selva also came and spoke to the TTE in Tamil. He told him the same thing. Selva, came to me and said, "Bhaiya, it's just Rs. 50 more."

Here was a real life chance to apply what Gurudev has said in so many satsangs! So I told Selva to tell him that we are with Guruji, and we would not be giving bribe. Selva went a little hesitantly himself and told the TTE something in Tamil but I heard the word Bill. It seemed like he himself didn’t believe the TTE would give a seat WITHOUT a bribe! I went up to the TTE again, and told Selva to translate that we were with Guruji, and therefore we just couldn't give him a bribe. I went on to explain that it wasn't that I didn’t have the money, it was just that I couldn't give it. Selva did the needful but the TTE just walked away and went inside the train.

It was clear that our conviction in explaining the situation was not strong enough. So I told Selva to go again but this time, say it with full conviction! Selva went in and the train began moving but I stood my ground. I would not board the train if the TTE didn’t give me a seat without the bribe. But I didn’t want to go standing for 4 hours either!

Just then, Selva came running to the door and said, “Bhaiya go in! He’ll give you a seat!”. So I boarded the train with a sense of satisfaction J!

Now, after boarding the train I couldn’t locate the TTE for some time. Then suddenly the TTE came out of a bathroom, spotted me and came and told me “please go and sit in D4, Seat 24”. So I happily went to coach D4, seat #24 and found a guy (must have been in his 40’s) sitting with his wife and mother. I pointed at the seat and said that it was a reserved one. He instantly got up and gave me the seat.

I sat happily for a few minutes and was feeling triumphant about the fact that I got a seat without giving bribe. But then, I started to feel a little sad for the guy whom I made stand. The good feeling of not giving the bribe was now being neutralized. I thought to myself that the next time the TTE came, I would ask if there was another seat available. Just then, I looked at my cell phone and saw a text message from Sakshi. It said “ There IS an A/C compartment in your train!”. As soon as I read the message, we arrived at a station! I got off and ran back to the TTE of the A/C compartment. I asked him if there was a seat available and sure enough, there was one!

So I happily shifted to the A/C compartment and made that man sit. Looking back, it made me feel grateful that every thought is taken care of when intentions are pure and the focus is clear!

Gurudev keeps saying. "You do my work and I'll do yours:)! ". The question is just about taking the step.

Maharaj ji, as Gurudev called him, was a very gracious old man, clad in an orange robe, with a bald head and white vibhuti on his forehead, with all his teeth intact and a big smile on his face!

I simply loved him from the first time I saw him. His commitment to knowledge was something worth seeing! Such an inspiration it was!

His devotion for the lord showed in every word that he said. I still remember, once he was talking in a Satsang (sometime around Navratri) to a crowd of about ten thousand + people and suddenly his voice started to break and tears started to roll down his cheeks. I was wondering what happened, and then his intense devotion, just caught on! I realized I also had tears in my eyes among so many others who felt the same!

It was very interesting, how Gurudev would interact with him. Gurudev would praise him like anything and Maharaj ji would respond by praising him even more. It used to be like a game of who is more humble! Gurudev would praise him, by acknowledging him to be a master in Vedic scriptures. Sometimes Gurudev would say something and then would say " Haina maharaj ji?" as if taking a confirmation from him. Maharaj ji would fold his hands in front and bow down his head indicating " Why are you doing this to me! ", and the crowd would laugh! Gurudev deeply loved Maharaj ji, and Maharaj ji would indicate in his talks (sometimes very clearly) that Gurudev is none other than Krishna!

His commitment to seva was also very inspiring. Many a times, he would be on a wheel chair but still come for the satsang and share some knowledge! In between his talks he would always crack one or two jokes, that would really make everyone laugh!

He would always begin by chanting "Narayan" 4 times. In fact, many people called him Naraayan Swamiji! His commitment to knowledge was so much, that no matter what one asked. He would finally come back to the same thing - "There is only one, there is no two". Very often he would speak the same thing again and again, and it sounded boring sometimes. But the way he would say it. To him it seemed that he just discovered it and is saying it for the first time!

It was such a delight to be in his presence. One would feel so calm and rejuvenated in his presence.

He left the body on 12th Feb 2012 at 12:25 pm at the ashram. Needless to say, it was a very peaceful and natural death. A most noble soul has returned to the source.

Narayan Naraayan Naraayan Naraayan.

This happened with me at a railway station. My phone was low on battery and I needed to charge it. So I found a small kiosk at the station where there was a plug point. There was a 15-year-old boy who was manning the kiosk. I asked the boy if he could charge my phone using the plug point till the train left. He promptly did it.

When the time came to leave, the boy said I would be charged Rs. 10 for that! Although that boy didn't seem to be the owner, he surely wanted to make a quick buck. I felt compassion for him and thought, that if such was the tendency at this age, how would he be when grown up?

So I said to him, " I am not going to pay you for charging the phone. I am giving you Rs. 10 because you are my friend." Saying this felt good to me and it honoured his end of the bargain as well. He didn't have to charge for something that he didn't really own or deserve, and I didn't feel overcharged for charging of a phone for 10 mins!

At this point, the boy said. " No bhaiya. I don't want anything". And refused to take money! Small incidents that bring out goodness in people are so satisfying:).

This is what I've seen Gurudev doing in each and every action of his! He uses this technique to bring out the best in a person. Even if the whole world calls a person a thief, Gurudev would call that person 'The most honest man!'. The beauty is that he really sees that thief's honest side while he says it and the thief also believes in it! Even for a die hard criminal he says, In a criminal there is a victim crying out for help! Thus he brings out the best in the person by focusing on the goodness in the person.

I just asked Sri Vinod Menon ji about Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar ji giving opinions in politics, and here is what he said.

The messiah of politics

As human beings, nobody can be without transactions and interactions. Confrontation and conflict are integral part of transactions and interactions. It is only normal that there are errors and disagreements in conversations. The most popular way of resolving the stand-off between two people is by subscribing to a system of governance. Governance in the way you communicate. Nothing can be devoid of governance.

To make optimum governance-possibilities and to create a framework of legislators, the polity has to elect their leaders. Only then, the elected legislators will get authority to frame rules and regulations for the people. Then the people will be in compulsion to live by these laws and orders. Welcome to politics. Politics is an integral part of living. There are numerous other things which are integral part of your living. Many a times your interests are latent and in seed form within you. At an appropriate time and suitable provocation these seeds emerge and come to the forefront. You will agree that any such surge within you must have adequate tutelage. This excitement and surge in people must get guidance so as to be channeled in the direction of progress. Are there any mass educators to train the electorate on how to vote?

The educator of the masses must have a profile which gives him authority to guide the masses. This guide or the leader must have the ability to see things beyond that which is obvious. The vision of the most of the electorate is limited to only that which is obvious. A short term gratification limited to personal tastes is the present motivation. A true leader and a guide must inspire the voter to a collective cause, a sustainable and a long term goal. The electorate must become persuaded to perhaps compromise on personal taste and connect to a more nobler cause of country and also humanity. A renowned spiritual scholar who evidently has achieved the drive of human value is necessary. Who do you know that corresponds to the profile with a universal presence, international respect, national reach, personal influence and local expertise. Can anybody do without such a guide and mentor? If politics is integral to you as much as is music, then what we need today is a Guru for the electorate and a messiah of the politics.

It will seem irresponsible for such a Guru if he does not participate in country’s affairs. As a role model, the real Guru will not be seen as an abdicator of duty. Do you have a name that fits this profile? Those who are willing to give a name and a face to this important and urgent profile, christen it as Sri Sri Ravi Shankar ji.

-- As said by Sri Vinod Menon ji

I asked Vinod Menon ji today about the success of the new parties, his answer:

Broom, Vroom & Zoom!

The people of India certainly have the intelligence. But many times they may be out of touch with their sensitivities and sentiments. Their sensibility directs them to vote for a mature, patriotic and national party.

The intellectually corrupt newest party of Delhi has an appeal. Their appeal is certainly emotional. This broom party can influence by whipping up emotions of the voter. Weak sentiments and misplaced sensitivities can guide the voter in favor of the broom. It does not need a forensic study to see an evidence of studied histrionics and choreographed theatrics in the broom party.

Evidently their rhetoric’s are a continuum of anti-establishment and anti-authority. The end at 49 days of governing Delhi is ample proof of inability to govern. Wiliness, cunning, unchecked ambition and extreme greed has been covered and hidden under the facade of desh bhakti. Have you heard the AK49 chant the following: “Bharat mata ki jai” & “ Vande Maataram”. After harvesting all the votes by whipping up the “Bharat “ sentiments, AK49 will not think twice to ditch these two bharat phrases. Let's do a fact check. Does the Bukhari camp agree to chant along with AK49? If not, then isn’t AK49 miss-leading the naive and the innocent. AK49 is attempting to position himself as a victim in every of his occurrences. He fails to hide his suffocation and frustration after the mainstream media rejected his messages. How can he downplay his miscreant behaviors. Holding on to the comforts of bungalows in Delhi and flights in private jet, does not represent the true ordinary man. Behind the outward and visible communication, the character sketch of the Broom leaders shows different intent. That of neutralizing justly wealthy people and diffusing people with honest power. Social equity will be fairly distributed and granted only by much mature and experienced political parties.

Beware of the non-familiar! Are you ready to bring reasoning into the forefront? Sensibilities needs to be encouraged over and above sensitivity and sentiments. This is not the time for emotional medication or another experiment. Indians must vote with intellectual conviction. Indian people should not be underestimated. They are capable of seeing the clarity in the next prime ministerial candidate. Today the surveys and other ratings are close to accuracies. If you vote for the party with guaranteed majority then you will save your precious vote.

--As said by Sri Vinod Menon ji

The interviewer asked me “Why do you want to join this company? “ That’s when it struck me once again. Why am I doing this? What do I want? What is the purpose of my life? These questions are ‘pressure questions’. Questions that come to the mind when one is under pressure. And when the pressure is dissipated the questions fizzle out. My final year of college was full of pressure. Studying at IIT (for those who don’t know IIT - it’s one of the best engineering colleges in India) and doing well there, does create a lot of pressure due to high expectations - Expectations of others and expectations of oneself.

Somehow I escaped the questions once again and just took a path that was easy and that followed the ‘herd’! I went on to do Masters from Europe. I had a nice scholarship. A fancy degree name “Erasmus Mundus Masters in Nanotechnology”. I had everything a student would want. And yet, I had no idea what I was doing and where I was heading! I was just flowing with the expectations that everyone (including myself) had set onto me!

By the time I finished my Masters. It was the time to face the same ‘pressure questions’ once again! This time, although I got a swanky job for myself, the questions didn't leave me!

I was seeing that even with the job, I’m not going to head to what I really want. I’m not going to head towards happiness or freedom. If I looked at people who had these kinds of jobs and had been working all this while, their happiness didn’t seem to be showing on their faces. In fact the people looked even more manipulative and stressed!

So, what am I doing? Where am I heading? What is the purpose of my life? These questions were haunting me! And honestly, I had NO IDEA how to deal with them!

One of my friends and teacher of Art of Living told me. Go to villages in India and do some seva and see. This sounded like a good plan, so I came to India before joining my first job at Amsterdam with the intention to do Seva and meet my family.

A little time at the Ashram and meeting with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, and that was it! Of whatever life I had seen and whoever I had met, I had NEVER met a person who would be so free, who would be so happy, and who would be so much in the present moment. In whose mere presence people would become so happy! I saw that if life is really worth living, it’s only worth living with him, It’s only worth living for him, It’s only worth living to be like him. If there is any direction that I want to head towards, it’s the direction that HE gives!

I feel so fortunate and grateful to get the opportunity to stay at the Ashram since then. The more closely I get to see him/know him; I realize that there is so much more in him that I had thought that I knew. And the more time I spend around him/for him, the more contentment, happiness and freedom is dawning into life.